CONFERENCES
(Located in the Cube of Conferrence)
Normally, these would be the optimal setting for us to go into more detail about ourselves, our project, or our organization. We could talk about how the whole thing started, how long we’ve been working on it, what it stands for, what we’re working on, what we’re studying, and why it’s even a thing. But the more specific we are, the less you’ll be confused. So, in essence, this is the best opportunity we have not to tell you anything about us or the secret things we do here at The Red Rainbow. Besides, we all know it's really about the continental breakfast. And the pamphlets. Who doesn't love a good pamphlet.
SHHHHHH!
There’s a very important panel discussion that’s about to start. Feel free to drop in if you’re interested. Otherwise pipe down.
upcoming events
Alien Mothership Sightings
Februaury 9-11, 2027
This weekend we will be arguing about the validity of witness testimonies. Several scientists will be rendered speechless when one of them accidentally admits that experimental results are subjective.
The LongE story
Februaury 16-18, 2027
On a random thursday night, an audience will watch with baited breath as a super old geezer with a gloriously golden mustache--that compliments his wig--comes walking out on stage at the speed of molasses. He’ll remove his suit jacket, sit down carefully and say, “It was El Segundo, 1974." Then there will be a suspenseful silence. Someone from the crowd will yell, “Take off your pants!" But instead of giving into temptation, he'll just sit there and blink a bunch of times before whispering, “I was the first to know," into the microphone.
The Big Wait
February 25-27, 2027
Join us this weekend as we listen to a whole bunch of delusional maniacs talk about the countless minutes they spent standing around in America's deserts in hopes of seeing a UFO. “You can imagine our disappointment when we found out they steer clear of the popular spots for that very reason." --is just one of the things they'll say.
The Big Wait:
Round 2
February 32-34, 2027
By request, we've decided to do a follow up to last week's seminar. In this one, renowned believer Stephen Agreer claims that the UFO's actually were in the popular places, they just had their invisibility cloaks turned on. Which would make sense if he didn't try to use photographic evidence to prove it.
Boats with a different name
February 39-41, 2027
After all that talk of aliens, we wanted to bring ourselves back down to earth. This weekend you'll get an opportunity to vent your frustration about the Hovercraft conspiracy. During the Q&A a member of the audience will say, “They've been lying to us for decades, they're just boats! It's such bull$h-t."
Those aren't binoculars
February 46-48, 2027
This week we give the podium to nature enthusiast Woody Forester so he can bitch about the time he saw a youth standing at a vista point--believing they were taking in the beauty of the Rocky Mountains--when really they were playing DragonCatcher III on expert mode.
Mystery Solved
February 53-55, 2027
Finally...F--king finally we know how they built the pyramids. Not the ones in Egypt, but the ones in Las Vegas and Long Beach. Come listen to blacklisted architect Zachary Stitches talk about the time he “accidentally" wiped the plans from his hard drive by pressing Ctrl + Alt + Delete multiple times.
Bringing back the big screen
February 60-62, 2027
For those of you who think the scientists have taken the whole “cellular" phone thing way too literally, we have organized this conference to let you know you're not alone. We too are tired of chasing after them whenever a mild breeze blows them out of our hands.
Time Machines
February 67-69, 2027
What do we want? TIME TRAVEL!! When do we want it? IT'S IRRELEVANT!! Come help us verbally attack the tyrannical Clockmakers Union for making us believe time is moving forward whether we like it or not. This sinister gang of gangsters has caused endless amounts of people to die of stress related illnesses. How? Because while they were alive they constantly thought they were late for stuff.
Oh the Times
WeRE Had
March 7, 2027
Come meet the stars of Blaze Bronson's instant classic Snowy Mountain Pass. This week we'll be opening up the floor for questions. By Sunday we should have it closed back up so you'll be able to ask the cast members anything you want without fear of falling in!
IT is happening again.
October 15, 2027
That festival you like is going to come back in style.
