ABOUT THis "GAME"

Club member Ashley Maddox once said, “Being a Dragon Slayer would be dope AF, but I’d prefer the title of Dragon Catcher. Catching sounds more humane than slaying.” This comment was overheard by someone in the lobby. In response they said, “DragonCatcher would be a cool name for a video game.” As soon as Ashley heard this she decided to do something about it. She teamed up with Charley, our in-house cosmic historian, and they hashed together something that closely resembled a cliche fantasy plot line. They then called up a developer they knew down in New Zealand, and a few weeks later they had a fully functioning pixel paradise modeled after the 16-bit open world games Ashley loved to play as a kid—and an adult. She was so happy she had a brand new game to beat a bajillion times that she shut herself in her room. It was nothing but Disasterpiece, marijuana cigarettes, and video games for a week. Even after she emerged from her neon cavern, the playing didn't stop. Everywhere she went she took it with her, and eventually people started to spread the word. Next thing we all knew, it was circulating like a wildfire started by the dragons themselves.

This is the first rendition of the game, as it was presented to Ashley. The storyline was very simple. You start out as a lowly peasant named Karth living in a village of skeptics. None of the shopkeepers, friends, or talking trees believe in dragons. So, Karth is faced with a choice: Go out and find these dragons, or stay in the village his whole life. If the player chooses the latter, Karth grows up a little bit every day, and eventually dies of old age after playing the same marketplace and farm based mini-games over and over. Starting a family is also an option, and its super easy because he's very good looking. Which brings us to the other gameplay option, searching for the dragons. The player goes out into the world in search of mountains, caves, dungeons, lairs, and all sorts of other places where dragons might hang out. They encounter countless enemies and booby-trapped mazes. Every time Karth catches a dragon, he must conquer it using turn-based combat techniques, or by outmatching it in a game of wits. The catch is that if the player decides to kill the dragon, they have to forfeit the mountain of gold the dragon was hoarding. Why? Because Karth is only strong enough to drag one thing back to the village at a time. You might think that he could just come back and get the gold after showing the dragon to the village people, but no. Thieves will steal it in less than one in-game day. If the player decides to spare the dragon's life, then Karth gets the gold and he becomes filthy rich, but the dragon maintains it’s right to a secretive existence. Most people decide to do a combination of both because you need gold to buy better armor. Which reminds me, once you've caught enough dragons, you get knighted as Sr. Shinyface.  

In this sequel, Sr. Shinyface has become the king of Dragonopolis. He roams about the land seeking glory, honor, and beer from his many servants. But, now that he is king he has access to the secret vault of magical secrets hidden with in the royal castle's main spire. Inside he finds a time machine. The player can either choose to live a life of glamour and excess as king of Dragonopolis in the dark ages, or travel into the future where there is indoor plumbing. Once in the future, Sr. Shinyface is given an upgraded pair of laser swords, and he is set about the new world to do the exact same things he did in the first game. What makes it slightly more difficult, is that this installment features online players as well, so there are thousands of knights running around trying to use wealth and dragons to conquer the world. There is also the added feature of Apocalyptic Cults in this one. As players roam about the countryside they will encounter many communes attempting to draw them away from their quest. Clans and alliances are formed, and it's every player and their army against the other.    

This is the current version of the game, and it is a major hit. Apocalyptic Cults are a thing of the past, and the decision to take Dragonopolis to the Virtual Reality level was the sword that slashed the dragons back. The graphics improved, and players were given the chance to roam the literal countryside in search of the dragons. Trust me, seeing dragons in the real world is scarier than you've ever imagined. But to make it even more realistic, and slightly more practical, the gold hoarded by the dragons now holds value in digital currency. So anyone who plays the game is fully capable of earning a living as a legitimate dragon catcher. The only drawback as far as we can tell is that the dragons seem to be getting smarter. In other words, their tricks are becoming a little too juvenile for our taste. We might start setting limits to their intelligence so people don't go running into active waterways thinking they're caves because some smart-a$$ dragon wrote: "DRIGGINS HEAR-->" on the wall in black spray paint. That's just not cool. You're feet get very wet.