THE BAY OF PLENTY
GREETINGS FROM SURPRISINGLY CLOSE TO ANTARCTICA!
This weekend I decided to test out my portal jumping capabilities by going further away from home than I've ever been. I knew full well that this was a dangerous business, but it had to be done. I stood in the doorway, slipped on my lucky lasso, and stepped forth into the unknown. Next thing I knew I was looking straight at this statue of Wairaka in New Zealand. It is known as The Lady on the Rock. Off to my left was a plaque dedicated to said statue. Or, should I say, Wairaka herself. Seeing as you probably have little to no idea who that is, allow me to give you some back story so you can appreciate the awesomeness. New Zealand is home to the Maori, natives of the islands. If you watch Rugby, chances are you've seen a version of their traditional dance, the Haka, performed before a match. That aside, there was a time in the distant past when the north and south islands of New Zealand were in the process of being populated. During this time indigenous people were emigrating from distant islands. They travelled thousands of miles on the ocean, in a CANOE. I mean, a big canoe, but still. The very idea of that makes Christopher Columbus look just silly. But anyway, one such excursion was made in a canoe called Mataatua. It arrived on the eastern shore of the north island near a place called The Bay of Plenty.
Despite the name it now bears, at the time the situation was dire. Supplies were low, and Toroa—the Chief—got into an argument with his men about how they were going to survive. They decided to split up, leaving the women in the canoe while all the men swam to shore in search of sustenance. One must understand, at this time the women of the tribe were not allowed to steer, paddle, or otherwise direct the canoe in any way, as it was considered sacred. So when the waters started to rage and the canoe was set to be pulverized by jagged rocks’—a decision had to be made. Either they went against the sacred tenants of the tribe, or perish. In that moment Wairaka chose to stand up and proclaim, “Kia Whakatane au i ahau!" which means, “Let me act as a man!" Nowadays people might react negatively to this phrase, but we're taking about 700 years ago. Wairaka immediately grabbed a paddle and encouraged the others to do the same. They fought the wind and the crashing waves, steering the canoe towards a river inland. I can't say for sure what happened after that, because I wasn't there. Something about camping out in a cave until the men came back, and about a million marriage proposals after that. But the fact remains that Wairaka's courage and quick thinking saved the day, and many lives.
So when I look at this statue, I take pride in a person I didn't know. Why? Because deep down she knew that letting all those women die because of a made up rule would've been f--king stupid.
Rules are for Robots.
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DANGERFIELD