RHM
Talk instant fame

“We don't care what Rollins Thomas says, we know how to party," Julian remarks as Riley helps him do a keg stand. I told them they weren't allowed to bring alcohol into the studio, but they said it was, "doctor's orders," so I couldn't do anything about it. We then set out a few beanbag chairs and sat down to discuss the meteoric rise of their band Relatively Hot Moms. 

*mic static*

Julian, Riley, take us back to where it all began. 

Well, first there was nothing. Then BAM! a huge explosion. And 13.7 billion years later we came along.  

Are you talking about the universe? I was referring to the band.

So were we.

I don't get it. 

We don't either, that's just what happened. 

*whispers-to-self*

What's that?

Oh nothing. So, do you guys really like lions? What's the deal with that?

We're Leos.

Why is it pink?

Because it looks cool.

What about the name? Relatively Hot Moms. Where did that come from?

The english language. 

Okay, yes, but why did you decide to call yourselves that?

We needed a name. 

Right, but what was the reason behind you picking that particular name?

The word "what" had nothing to do with it.

Oh my god.

No one owns god shelly.

Can we get back on track please?

Sure. You want a shot?

No thank you.

*they take shots*

So, are you guys hoping to get famous?

We already are.

No you're not. This is your first interview.

We hate to disagree, but... 

You're not famous.

Yes we are.

Yea, right, in what world?

Our own. It's little.

And, you believe this because?

We're musicians.

Trained? Or self-taught?

Okay so we're not actually musicians. But we make music.

Why do you make music?

Because we enjoy it.

Yes, but what do you do with this music once it's made?

Listen to it.

Do you want other people to listen to it?

We don't care.

Let's say people did listen to your music, is there a message you would be trying to get across to them?

Nope.

Are you in it for the money?

Nope. 

Then why are you making it in the first place?

We don't know.

That seems pretty silly to me. All that work for nothing.

You're right. F--k it.

*mic drops*

Julian and Riley then did somersaults out of their chairs and told me they had an emergency band meeting at the nearest golf course. I rolled my eyes and thanked the good lord that the interview was over. Now I just have to cross my fingers and hope that they don't actually become famous. So please, don't listen to their music, don't buy their records, and don't go to their shows because I don't think I could handle another five minutes with these idiots.