Wilcocks
Moneybags:

An Inside scoop on the space-age spoof

With Shelly Stone

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Good aftermornevening, my name is Shelly Stone and I'm here with the famed UFOlogist, entrepeneur, and Frolf enthusiast Wilcocks Moneybags. He is the author of over 10,000 words that have been published in books. The book we will be discussing today is titled: The Deception Mysteries: How to Capitalize on a Cosmic War, or Start Your Own From Scratch. Wilcocks, first of all, how are you doing today?   

I'm doing very well thank you, just enjoying the prickly sensation of dry grass on my butt while I get some much needed sunshine.

Wilcocks, lets talk about your childhood a little bit. How did the whole thing start?

Um, well, my parents had just finished getting a couples massage at a resort in Maui, and I suppose you could say that when they got back to the hotel---you know, nature took its course and um…

Actually, Wilcocks, I'm referring more to your obsession with Extra-Terrestrials rather than your conception. Could you tell us about that?

Now you're just confusing me. 

I'm asking about when you started to develop an interest in Aliens. 

Oh, right. I would say that it manifested at a very early age. Gosh I must've been, I don't know, 30, 31 years old at the time.

Very influential years.

Absolutely. In fact, I was going through an emotional renaissance. Or a rough patch one could say. I was severely depressed. It got so bad that I ended up calling up my grandfather one day and saying, "hey gramps, I'm really down in the dumps." And at that point, for reasons I can't even fathom to speculate on, he decided to break protocol and tell me about certain "things" that happened when I was young. Which, up until that moment I had no prior knowledge of hitherto or therefore after.    

Oh wow, so what did he share? If you don't mind me asking. 

I don't mind at all Shelly, no. I was then informed about how special I was. Not just to my relatives but in fact the whole world. Apparently I had been abducted over 700 times. I know it's hard to believe. Little old Wilcocks Moneybags, but it's true apparently. I mean, I have no memory of the events. But they happened. I was told that I should bring my testimony to the masses. But, there isn't much profit in professional witnessing, so I decided to take it in another direction.

Is that where the whole idea of The Deception Mysteries came from? These experiences? Or was it your own overt specialness?

Um, Yes. Yes I suppose you could say that.    

Of course. But, Wilcocks, there's just one problem. After the truth came out, and everyone woke up from the poppy field that was human history, all of your work was revealed to be a fabrication. 

Right. And I understand why people would be upset about that. But that's why I wrote this book. I wanted people to have something they could latch onto in these chaotic yet opportune times. Something that could act as a proverbial hot air balloon that ushers them up to the highest heights of fame, riches, and success. Sure, once you're there you can't so much as go to the grocery store without being harassed, but all the material possessions you've amassed make it totally worth it.

You think so? 

Absolutely. It's exactly like they say, money buys happiness.

I'm not familiar with that version.

You are know. And you're welcome.

Wilcocks, I want to talk more about the book, The Deception Mysteries. In it you outline a five step plan for developing a gravy train powered by imagination: The Stairway of Kevin. Can you delve into that a bit? What was your inspiration?

Oh sure. The Stairway of Kevin is something that I've been using for years myself. I of course made it up, but it's based on something my friend told me in college. He said, "Life is all about starting at the bottom, and rising to the top." I resonated with that so strongly that it gave me the chills.

Was this college friend of yours named Kevin by chance?

Um, yes. But when I sat down to write out the steps, Kevin just happened to be the acronym I ended up with. It was purely a coincidence, as they say. 

Do you mind giving our readers an example of one of the steps?

Yes I do. I wouldn't make any money if I just told them to people now would I? I can say however, that the first word of the first step is "Know." 

Amazing. Tantalizing stuff. Well, I'm afraid that's all the time we have. I'm Shelly Stone, and thank you for joining us. Look for The Deception Mysteries: How to Capitalize on a Cosmic War, or Create Your Own From Scratch, in stores now until they run out. Wilcocks, we look forward to talking to you again when your novel Antarctica and the Draconian Beach Babes starts showing up in YouTube commercials. 

Totally. Bye everyone!

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