Welcome to The Stache
where we kick people out on a regular basis
It may look super fancy--I mean why wouldn't you make a place called The Stache super fancy--but surprisingly enough it's nothing more than a dive bar with a face lift. What you're looking at here is an area where people usually eat food and drink drinks at the same time. There is a regular bar off to the left that goes on for days and doesn't serve food, but it's essentially a wall of bottles and we don't feel like endorsing that many products at once.
There are some people out there who like to smoke while drinking, so we have a separate room for those gosh darn smoking drinkers:
More often than not smoking rooms are pretty gnar--even for chain smokers--but this one has a state-of-the-art ventilation system that keeps it cool, clear, and fresh. On top of that there are a couple of very discrete robot vacuum cleaners that keep the floor spick and span.
There's also this third option:
A room with a stage
If talking to random strangers and/or taking shots with your girlfriends only to end up crying all night isn't your deal, check this place out. Occasionally we'll have live bands, but for the most part we provide whatever comedian from The 3rd Floor called dibs on the stage. Drinks are always half priced in here, which is great for us because most customers end up drinking three times more than they normally would and we turn an enormous profit. The laughter and tears of joy you will inevitably experience are free of charge. Tables & Chairs will be provided, along with the nuts of your choice.
