Where it's Today somewhere,
Tomorrow elsewhere,
and Yesterday over there...
The journalist's handbook How to Become a Trusted News Source for Dummies states, "the more biased you are about current events, the more blind followers you will have." Unfortunately, when The Real Reel World hit the scene in 2018, none of the team members had read that handbook. As a consequence they told it like it was, and they were shunned by the MSM. Here in 2027 however, they're super popular. People are smarter now, and subsequently they don't mind hearing actual facts. The only downside is that there aren't very many of those. So articles have gotten much shorter.
AS IT TURNS OUT
The SHORT AND not-so-SWEET NEWS STREAM
POLITICAL
BULL$H-T
TAKING AWAY PEOPLE'S GUNS DOESN'T STOP THEM FROM KILLING EACH OTHER
They just start using other stuff. Perhaps when the world is FUBAR, people lash out irrationally.
*
CREATING OPPOSING TEAMS WITHIN A SINGLE GOVERNMENT WAS A BAD IDEA
It's almost like they wanted us to argue with each other.
*
LEGISLATIVE DISSONANCE SHOULDN'T BE A THING
Otherwise State laws don't mean jack sh-t.
*
VOTING DOESN'T MATTER UNLESS IT MATTERS
Shout out to the electoral college for overriding the popular vote. If you were gone we'd have no idea what was best for us. Oops, I forgot it's 2027, you are gone. Whatever shall we do with all this democracy?
NOBODy'S BUSINESS
ART IS THE ONLY REASON PEOPLE HAVE REAL JOBS
I guess businesses need things like logos, jingles, directors, decorators, photographers, writers, and innovators. Not the other way around.
ENOUGH WITH THE PENIS LOGOS
Talkin' to you Spamazon.
FAST FOOD BEEF PROVIDERS HAD IT ALL WRONG
Just because they're cows doesn't mean it's not genocide.
ELIMINATING WAGE GAPS LITERALLY FIXES EVERYTHING
When janitors can afford to be alive, the economy smiles.
SCIENTIFIC JUNK
GLOBAL WARMING WAS A JOKE
It may have been a profitable source of income for a while, but global guilt-trips don't play out in the long run. Simply treating the Earth like it's where your children will live is more effective.
*
SWEEPING THINGS UNDER THE CARPET
Everyone, meet the new dictionary definition of Landfill.
*
FOOTAGE PROVES NOTHING
Professional Analysts are just as likely as other humans to issue false statements. First hand accounts are also debatable.
*
THE SUN ISN'T A SOLID OBJECT
Seriously, it's not.
EXTREME SPORTS
SKYDIVING IS SAFER THAN DRIVING
Dying in a car: 1 in 6,000
Dying from a jump: 1 in 100,000
THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR WAS PRETTY SIMILAR TO AMERICAN FOOTBALL
Instead of lining up to shoot each other like sitting ducks, they line up and tackle each other 'til their brain is f--ked.
OLYMPIANS USED TO COMPETE AU NATURALE
It's safe to say the winter olympics would have very few male athletes if this were still the case.
SPEAKING OF THE OLYMPICS
Married women used to be thrown off a cliff if they tried to enter. Luckily we've made a lot of progress since then. And I suspect we'll make even more.
"YOUR TEAM" IS RICH WHILE YOU ARE POOR.
The average B-Ball player made 6.2 million dollars in 2017. The median income for a family of four in 2016 was less than sixty grand. In other words, 500 athletes apparently needed the same amount of money as 206,666 normal people (well above the poverty line mind you) to be convinced the game was worth playing.
TIMELESS WISDOM
SMOKERS KNOW CIGARETTES ARE BAD FOR THEM
And here we thought they hadn't noticed any of the commercials, doctors, school programs, billboards, or snarky comments made over the last seventy years. If they haven't quit by now, its probably because they're okay with risky lifestyle choices. Either that or they've already quit ...hundreds of times.
MASS MURDERERS LIKE BEING FAMOUS
Every single one of them is super thankful to the media outlets that gave them that opportunity. If it wasn't for them they never would've put in the effort.
MEDIA SILENCE IS A GOOD THING
When people don't have newscasters, radio hosts, government officials, activists, and relatives shoving hate-porn down their throats, they start feeling like life is worth living rather than taking.
ACTIONS DO NOT SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS
In fact, neither one of them speak. You do that part.
RELIGION
IF THEY'RE LIVING IN A MANSION
They're doing it wrong. See Matthew 6:24.
ANYONE CAN BE A BUDDHA
As soon as they stop trying to be one.
THE PASTOR LIED TO YOU
The book actually says, "for the sins of the whole world," not, "for the sins of the people who go to church."
PHILOSOPHY IS A BETTER TERM
Otherwise you start worshipping inanimate objects. If you're okay with that, don't worry, just be careful what you wish for.
MOST PEOPLE ARE CULT MEMBERS
Research shows you might be one of them. Which is why researching is more important than witnessing.
BRAHMA HAS FOUR FACES
So do the aliens witnessed by Ezekiel.
THE CROSS IS A GRAVEN IMAGE
Literally, that's the definition.
*The personal views and opinions reflected by this network are those of the people who watch it. They do not represent the official position of The Red Rainbow or The 2027 Club. While it may report on our organization from time to time, we do not edit the content.
