WElcome
Based on the fact that you’re here, you are either so unenthused by life that you need to find something crazy to do just to feel alive, or your so enthusiastic about life that you just can’t help but want to live it up to the fullest by doing something crazy. Either way, you have strong feelings about what you want to do, and it’s something crazy. Well, great. Thats where I come in.
I am Dreno, an autonomous cybonaut created by the good people of this establishment to facilitate your journey through our custom designed adrenaline pumping thrills and controversial near death experiments.
Before you select a thrill, you’ll be scanned for any health issues that may impede your ability to participate. If any are found, the Med Bed will cure them immediately. The last thing we want is for you to miss out on these activities because of a faulty ticker, or poor circulation.
(Note: In 2027 the use of Med Beds will be as common as visiting your physician. In fact, they will have all but replaced physicians. They do not permanently cure you, as the human body does deteriorate continually, so a Re:Fresh is recommended at least once every two years, or before participating in something of this nature. We offer this service free in many locations throughout the Red Rainbow.)
Once you’ve been cleared, you’ll pick an activity, and I’ll give you some VR contacts. You’ll then be brought to the appropriate station for the selected thrill. In the case of Skydiving, which is our most popular, you’ll be strapped into a harness perched on a ledge, and when you jump the simulator will kick in and you’ll feel the wind of the fall. It will be as if you are truly jumping out of a plane… Or off of a bridge… Or off a cliff…
Aside from Skydiving, Wingsuit Flying, Hang Gliding, Base Jumping, Bungie Jumping, and our infamous TowerDives, I can also offer you the following: A ski run down Mt. Everest with an avalanche pursuing you… A car chase across a desert highway… An ATV ride down a Volcano with lava hot on your heels…
Or a treacherous climb up crumbling cliffs with frayed rope and loose anchors… Or a long walk over a rickety bridge bound to collapse at any moment… Perhaps a failed spacewalk leaving you adrift in the vast emptiness… Or a ship sinking… A submarine leaking… A scuba dive under the ice of the arctic with a faulty wetsuit…
I can have you buried alive… Or locked in a box sinking to the bottom of the ocean… Lost in a cave with a dying lamp… Trapped under a rock in the middle of a frigid river… Lowered into a shark tank… Abandoned in a collapsed mine… Dropped into a lion’s den… Or a den of vipers… Scorpions… Or chained in the dungeon of a vampire…
I can have you awaken in a room surrounded by flames… Or lost in the woods… Or hunted by bears… Or tracked by assassins… Or pursued by an axe murderer… Or tortured by the axe murderer… I can set snipers atop buildings and send you walking down the street…
I can abandon you in a space station at the edge of the galaxy… Send aliens to abduct you… Or corner you in the tunnels beneath the city… Or study you on their ships in the outer reaches… The fact of the matter is, no matter which one of these thrills you choose…
I’m going to scare you near to the point of death. Your parachute may not open… Your bungy cord may snap… The Avalanche may overcome you. The lava may consume you. Your fingers may slip… The rope may break… But you will awake. Safe. Sound. Terrified.
Alive.
And you will leave this place…
And you will think…
I never want to do anything like that ever again.
But trust me, now that you’ve got a taste…
