HOWDY!

and welcome to beefcakes

Don’t be shy! Old Man Marshall Ranger’s just doin’ what he does. He’s been real suspicious as of late after a couple a no good, two-bit, rooster kickin’ butt farms tried to sluff off without payin’ but a penny for a whole slew of beverages. Honest to God this is a real hospitable place where country folk an city slickers all can hoist there crocks and boots alike upon our well weathered footstools. Round here we got some real good genuine veggie vittles ready to satiate that powerful hunger you got growin in yer gut. And don’t go thinkin’ this ain’t no drinkin’ man’s joint, we got whiskey out the wazoo and an ice cold beer river higher than a buckin’ bronco’s belly band. So step right up! Slam your fist on the bar and say, “Gimme some-a-them veggie’s: The Real Man’s Meat.”

Good old-Fashioned Freedom

Here at BEEFCAKES, we don’t give a damn about what you decide to do with your own private property. And by that we mean your stomach! We also pride ourselves in lettin’ you maintain your pride. If you don’t wanna embarrass yourself by askin the waiter to get your food for you, and you’d rather be a man and get it yourself, go ahead. Our patented, copywrited, and trademarked official Beefcake’s BurgerBar™ has far more fixin’s than you could ever need. After all, how could we call ourselves a genuine American restaurant if we didn’t offer a borderline wasteful amount of extra stuff. Besides, we prefer it if you make your own burger. Otherwise we’d be liable to give you your money back if you didn’t like it. And that is literally the last thing we want.