“This building used to be a total sh-thole. But they’ve stepped in, they’ve stepped up to the plate, and made it great again. I mean, listen. Never in all my years have I experienced such luxury and bliss. And I should know. I own like, hundreds of these.”
Well . . .
This is awkward. We've just now realized that we can't actually tell you about everything we offer here. Unfortunately we made this page before coming to that conclusion. We can tell you that the ground floor is open 24/7, where we have an eclectic selection of Restaurants & Recreation. We have rooms available on the first five floors. The Theatre and The Cube of Conferrence are open to the ticket purchasing public on weekends for our tantalizing events, concerts, and conferences. As a substitute--cuz I know you're still going to be curious--we've decided to let you read some speculations people have made about our activities. Keep in mind that these have never been proven one hundred percent, and anyone who partakes in the accommodations available on the 6th floor and above has to sign a piece of paper and go through a rigorous screening process before and after their stay. We're pretty tight lipped around here due to the time sensitive matters we hold in the palms of our filthy rich hands.
So, without further adieu, the speculations:
&:.
&G.T.to.Major.Bum speculates:
"There's an entire anti-gravity floor. I know this for a fact. And I'm pretty sure every bedroom is equipped with a "Half-Grav" setting so that when you go to sleep it feels like you're lying on a cloud."
&sky.high.lander speculates:
"I heard that they have a place where you can meet any historical figure you could ever want to meet. Like you sit there and then that person walks in. My friend Villy Bentriliquist works there and he says they recreated all their voices so they sound exactly the same. It's pretty neat. Seems way better than the wax museums."
&fem-BOT-inist speculates:
"I heard there's a silent club. Which sounds ironic, I know, but it's silent because each person literally hears their own music. If you choose a common BPM you'll start to see the other people around you that are on the same track."
&Blaze-Runner speculates:
"I was an extra on SMP! Can't believe I'm gonna be on the site. Anyhow! I heard the wristbands keep track of your drinks so you don't have to go to the bar when you need a refill. Which, why wouldn't you wanna go to the bar? The bartenders are perfectly humanoid androids. But I guess they show up automatically with a new one when you ask for it. Same goes for room service, the concierge, tour guides, you name it. Totally hassle free."
&Liar-McFire-pants speculates:
"They have [REDACTED]! These people let their patrons [REDACTED]! No respect for [REDACTED]! If they delete this comment, those of you who saw it will know that it's true!"
&adrenaline.and.a.junkie speculates:
"If you've got an implant and some crypto burning a billion dollar hole in your blockchain, you can buy a lifetime's supply of any psychedelic or time-travel or both combined experience you could possibly image. It's all in your head and then Poof! Sober as a bird. Not to mention the all the skydiving, bungie jumping, shark chasing, scuba diving, mountain climbing, and dragon hunting you could possibly want as an added bonus!"
&Rollins:
These people are idiots. If they had spent even a few minutes researching before speculating, they'd know which parts are true, which parts are false, and which parts are way cooler than they're describing. Sad.
